Sometimes I don't post because I feel like if I do you will think I'm bi-polar. One week I'm really good, the next I'm not so much. As I've been contemplating that phenomena in my life I realized that I feel like my emotions as of late are pure reaction to outside circumstances. I've never really felt like that before. I'm a visual person, so when I can actually visual how I'm feeling it makes more sense to me. After expressing my thoughts to Joie, and feeling okay about my emotions (because Joie is good at that), I came up with this analogy...
I'm a weather buoy that has snapped the chain to it's anchor and I'm being driven to and fro by the waves and currents.
Everything makes more sense to me when I speak about the ocean... weird.
So the next question is what is going to keep me from being so tossed around. I know what my anchor is- Christ and His Gospel- but what am I going to build my new chain with to make sure it doesn't snap, or stretch too much? What do you do to regulate your emotions and not feel so tossed about by the circumstances of life?
Okay, so I am going to roll with your analogy, because I like it. :)
ReplyDeleteSo, for me, what I do to build a new chain depends on how far I've drifted. Sometimes I'm doing pretty okay and cracking open my scriptures, saying a prayer, or watching something from mormonmessages is enough to link me for a bit. However, when I've pulled away from the anchor further or times when the storms of life are fierce and I feel broken away, I have to do more to mend the chain. There is a larger gap to fill. And that's when I hopefully remember, sooner rather than later, to do any little thing that will bring the spirit into my life and any little thing that will make me happy.
What specific things those are also depend on how I am doing. For example, when I was still packing for Houston, I hit a wall of doubt and couldn't seem to surpass it. I tried reading my scriptures and praying, but even that wasn't helping. My mind couldn't focus on those and hold onto the hope. I felt impressed that I needed to get up and do something- make myself busy. When I did, I felt fine. Yes, in life we are to be anxiously engaged in a good cause on our own, but if we need- He will guide us. I think that we have to pause and listen to our heart and to the spirit to help us realize what will help us most in each moment.
Specifically for me, some of these are: Church, temple, friends, meditation, inspirational movies, nature, music, creativity, cuddling with kids, service, my favorite comfort foods, making a gratitude list (I find this one takes consistency to really work :/ ), calling my mom for a pep talk, reading my journals to see where I've been and how far I've come...I'm sure you have a list too, of which I am curious! :D
Good and bad days - but hopefully the worst are past, so that the bad days are even getting better - and the good. Love you Abbie
ReplyDeleteYou are Abbie, of course you think ocean all the time. I love it!
ReplyDeleteNot related to your post at all, but the blog dad and the deathstar. I would love to see pics of your llama cupcakes.
Love you!
I LOVE to read your posts and NEVER EVER think you're bi-polar. Life has it's ups and downs. I absolutely love your analogy and think you should write a book or something. Really- you are so good with words.
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