Super Cute Sunday

So today I ventured outside my comfort zone and went to church at a Young Single Adult ward.  And I was pleasantly surprised.  While I don't really feel like a young single adult anymore, it was good to be at church with that crowd. 

When I was still an undergraduate we used to call the first Sunday of any semester "Super Cute Sunday".  It's your chance to make a first impression with just how cute you are.  While I laughed to myself getting ready super early this morning (who gives YSA's a start time of 8:30?) about having to go through a Super Cute Sunday again, I realized that I really just wanted to be at church to feel uplifted, not to impress anyone.  That was a good feeling, and erased any apprehension I had about going to church.

This week was hard.  I love being at school.  I felt like a chicken with my head cut off, running around aimlessly trying to figure our exactly what I need to have done and when the best time to do it is.  I didn't feel really grounded or sane.  I think that put me in a mental state that when I faced a few triggers this week (a random picture of Jeremy and I popping up, a classmate making a comment about the permanent and eternal nature of marriages, assigned readings talking about unconditional love) I didn't cope very well.  Lots of tears.  Lots of doubting.  Lots of feeling alone, isolated and that I don't quite belong.

That is why church was so good today.  My circumstances haven't changed from this week to this morning.  But I felt peace.  And that is all I wanted from being at church.  My prayer was answered... as it always is!