Choice

The other day I decided to dash up to the temple after classes.  Normally I turn off the radio, but for some reason I left it on.  I had it tuned to NPR and the conversation instantly drew me in.  The Poet/Author (I don't know her name) was talking about her brother who while he was in a long, slow process of dying said, "Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is a choice."  That caught my attention even more.  I turned off the radio and started to ponder what that really meant to me.  I was anxious to get inside the temple to ponder even more.  As I sat inside I started to read about suffering and how Christ suffered for our pains and afflictions, so that we don't have to.

For behold, I, God, have ^asuffered these things for all, that they might not ^bsuffer if they would ^crepent;

http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/19.16?lang=eng#15

That day has since impacted me deeply.  Just the week before I had noted in my journal that I was tired of being sad.  That I felt like there was constantly a heavy blanket of sadness laid over me and that it was suffocating me.  I was functional; going to school, doing my homework, showering etc.  But I didn't really feel much but sadness.

So as I pondered suffering and pain in the temple I realized that I was choosing to suffer, I was choosing to be sad still.  By choosing to lean on my own strength, by holding on to hurt, pain, disappointment, heartache and protecting my pride... I was choosing to suffer.  I can choose another way.  I can choose to lean on Christ as my Savior and have his suffering stand in place of mine.  I don't have to suffer any more!  Pain-Yes, it's inevitable.  Suffering- NO!!!

I have HOPE again.  While I know that doing the above is easier said than done, I at least feel hope again.  Hope in the day when my suffering stops because I choose to have Christ's suffering for me to stand in place.  Each time I consciously do this I feel this blanket of sadness lift.  It's beautiful.

Solid Week

Last night during dinner my friends' little 5 year old boy, Tyler, said, "It's been a solid day!"  We all got a good laugh out of it.  And Tyler inspired my post this week, because it's been a solid week!

This week started with 2 finals and one major test, and another quiz.  All by Wednesday.  I was exhausted.  My brain was DONE.  Thank goodness the rest of the week wasn't quite so busy.  This is what made my whole week solid:

Churro Cupcakes.... there's nothing like trying a new recipe the night before two finals.  It was a good stress reliever.

A temple trip... now that two class are done, it's real easy to just slip up to the temple after my new class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings

Watching my nephews on campus while their Mom guest lectured

A Family Party Friday night

A BYU football game with friends from my old BYU ward and our old bishop

An Imagine Dragons concert with my new friend Emily!

Here's an Imagine Dragons video:

and if you like their music, you can listen for free on their website

Learning

Some things I'm learning this school year...

• My cold weather clothes I had in Washington, just doesn't cut it here in Utah
• Using an old credit card for my ice scraper, is not going to work here in Utah
• If I don't want to wear my smelly sports bra all day, then I need to remember to pack a regular one in my back pack
• Getting my haircut and colored is much cheaper in Provo
• Trying to do homework while my Dad watches NCIS isn't very productive
• Riding my bike 10 miles to school in the morning is very therapeutic... I just need to remember that at 5:30 am when my alarm goes off
• I get road rage when I'm on my bike... don't ever ride up close behind me and honk, I just might crash and if I don't, I'll yell at you (not that you'll hear me since your windows are rolled up)
• I LOVE live music- especially outside and free
• Heavenly Father always provides me with friends wherever I am!