Nights

Nights have been really hard for me lately.  I'm not sure why.  Previously, I would usually fall asleep around 10 each night, no matter where I'm at (including movie theaters).  I've found myself stalling, and stalling.  I don't know why, but a few things come to mind:

• I'll be all by myself all night.  It's not unheard of.  Often Jeremy would stay up all night.  But I guess it's just knowing for sure now.
• If I go to bed, that means I have to face another day.  And sometimes that thought keeps me from getting into my bed.
• Nights were Jeremy's favorite time of day.  You would think that would make me want to jump right into bed and sleep it away.  But more often than not, I sit thinking about him, hoping he might reach out and send a message my way.

It's probably the 2nd one that causes me to stall the most.  But some how the mornings come, I get up and face the day, and then the day closes.  I'm sure at some point, I'm going to look back and wonder what happened during these days.  For now I'm doing what I can to make it through each day.  And I know full well the only way I'm getting through them is because the Savior is helping me!