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First day of school... I should have taken a picture (instead you get to see a really bright photo of my graduation 10 years ago).  I felt just as excited as I always do going to school.  I loved waiting for the bus in the early morning. I loved wading through the sea of students percolating through campus finding their way to class.  I loved the enthusiasm my professors exuded.  I loved helping a few freshman find their way to the right buildings.  And I loved treating myself to some BYU creamery ice cream while I waited for my bus home.

It felt really great to be back on campus.  I felt at home.  Some people use the word home very strictly.  Home to me is any place I feel at peace being myself.  BYU is one of those places!  Do you have any places like that for you?

I've only got 2 semesters.  This Fall I'm taking 17 credits full of botany, teaching methods, tecnology for teachers, adolescent development, content area literacy, lab safety, teaching students with disabilities, and multicultural education.  It's going to be a BUSY semester.  Then in the Winter semester I do my student teaching!  It will fly by fast.  I'm excited for all that I'm going to learn.  And I'm excited for the opportunities going back to school will open up for me.

I really hope you and your children all have an exciting first few days of school!

I'll stay

Tonight I miss Washington so much it hurts.  Not just the state, but my life there... my family, my friends, my hopes and dreams.  Good thing the Hartely's are coming for a visit this weekend.

I do love living closer to my brothers.  This week I got to help Mike build his house (I use the term help loosely here... mostly I stood and followed him around, gave people drinks, and fried my face).  I also got to spend a day with Andy, we headed to this HUGE cabin he built (for a client) to work on the final punch list.  Once again I mostly stood and watched.  But I love spending time with all my family.  That's what Utah has going for it.  That and the quakies.

Guess I'll stay... for now.

Contraction

This past week I've been pondering the ideas of contraction and expansion.  While reading a book called Perfectly Yourself by Matthew Kelly I came upon this statement:

"Discipline is a contraction that produces an expansion"



To contract is to make smaller or to condense.  Expansion is to increase in size or volume; to spread out.  Expansion is an antonym for contraction.  If they mean opposite things then HOW can it be?

When I thought about it through the lens of discipline, I quickly came up with examples from my life.  For instance right before my senior year of high school, our athletic trainer gave our soccer team a training schedule to follow during the summer to keep up in shape.  I followed that to a T.  Even while vacationing at my grandparents in California.  I felt the best I ever felt that season.  When we started practices I noticed I could run faster and longer without getting tired.  My ability to run expanded.

While driving to work the other morning I realized discipline isn't the only contraction that can produce an expansion.  Everyday we are faced with moments of contraction, that if we allow can produce expansion.  Expansion of our faith, our hope, empathy, gratitude, our view of life, the things we dream of or think possible, our self worth and charity. 

Currently divorce has been trying to contract on  me, to make me feel smaller to condense my view of life and myself.  I've struggled (and still struggle) with who I am and the way I see myself.  I lost bits of my identity... being a wife, becoming a mother soon, serving with the young women etc.  It all happened so fast that for awhile I didn't quite feel like myself, I didn't recognize the person I saw staring back at me in the mirror.  With the help of family, friends, a skilled counselor and the Spirit I've been able to use this contraction to produce expansion in my life. 

I'm grateful for this momentary contraction that has expanded my faith in and understanding of Christ's Atonement.  My relationship with and trust in Heavenly Father and his love for me has grown exponentially.  I have a greater capacity to empathize with others.  I have more gratitude for the people in my life.  I have gained new hopes and dreams.  I believe and trust myself more. 

I don't think any of that would be possible to have without experiencing some sort of contraction.  I think they key is in how we respond to the contractions we are given.  I'm choosing to expand.